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Trad E-thot Puts Children up for Adoption to Spend More Time on Social Media
THE SHORT CALAMITOUS HISTORY OF A TWITTER TRAD E-THOT
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Extremely Online Man Sues U.S. Government After Being Prohibited From Using the Internet as Official Address
SOMEWHERE ON THE INTERNET—When federal agents finally tracked down tax fugitive Daniel Jacobson, he was making a TikTok in the Mojave Desert. Jacobson…
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Thousands of Only Fans Workers Descend on Nation’s Capital to Lobby Congress for Ban on No Nut November
WASHINGTON, DC—No one ever truly knows from where an internet meme originates, and that certainly goes for No Nut November, the annual online challenge…
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Manosphere Fitness Guru in Shock After Botched Plastic Surgery Leaves Him With Permanent Cuckface
LOS ANGELES, CA—Employees at Numale Plastic Surgery are still reeling from a botched operation that left Mike Evanston, a popular YouTube fitness coach…
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22-Year-Old Doomer to Open Spotify Merch Store After Podcast Predicting End of Capitalism Hits Number One on iTunes
CHATTANOOGA, TN—After graduating from Belmont University in the spring of 2021, Marshall Cox did what most do when they graduate. He found a job. A bit…
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SHOCK REPORT: In Ultimate Act of Revenge, Winklevoss Twins Permanently Trap Mark Zuckerberg’s Consciousness in Metaverse
In the greatest Trojan Horse scheme since, well… the Trojan Horse, Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss have pulled off a major coup in their decades-long…
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Thousands of Energy Guys Convene on Twitter at 3 AM After Feeling a ‘Shift’
TWITTER, INTERNET—It was 2 AM and @EnergyGuy777 couldn’t sleep. He was fairly sure there was a shift of consciousness occurring somewhere in the…
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42-Year-Old PUA in Custody After Disrupting Nephew’s World of Warcraft Party
When Jack “The Enigma” O’Toole heard his nephew was having a gamer party, he cleared his schedule and told him he’d like to tag along. His nephew…
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